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how would I live today

how would i live today
if i knew it would be my last
how would i answer those questions
how would i speak to a friend
to my family
who would I hold in my arms

would I pay attention to
every
single
minute

would I reach out more easily
touching
would I connect more deeply
with every person
i encountered today
how would I let them know
they are loved
they are heard
would it be so important to speak
or would I listen more
would i jump up before the sunrise
so that i could salute it
how would i celebrate my life
how would i CELEBRATE my life
would i rejoice
in the love that i have
in the loves i have lost
in the joys
in the beauty
in the heartbreaks
in the sorrows
in the opportunities
in the challenges
would i laugh out loud

celebrating
every
single
feeling

how can I possibly
find a way
to express the depth of the gratitude i feel
for my life
today

if it were my last day

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It’s in the sweet moments
of early morning
when sleep just begins to lift
and the most tender places
of my heart
are still exposed
The sadness comes
and the tears roll
from my eyes
i remember the love
and I am overwhelmed

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Grief

I sit here in the dark
the deepest place in my soul
the place that sorrow sits
My eyes closed
as I feel the pain
how will I move
how will I open my eyes
how on earth
will I go on
I never imagined this world
without you in it
Yet
Here I am
I cannot imagine it yet
Today
I sit in the pain
yy eyes closed
my spirit holding yours close
that’s all I can do.

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I close my eyes
and let the breeze
open the sails of my heart
Raise my arms
let the ocean breeze
open the sails of my heart
graceful
as it catches the wind
grace
as it soars in a sky that goes on forever
Close your eyes
Listen to the peaceful breeze
as it ripples through the water
only the wind
it moves us
open your heart
and let it’s sails catch the breeze
turn your face to the sun
let it warm you
lie back
let the quiet move through you
for what else is there

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Sometimes the sun
does not actually rise
It seeps in from the
dark

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journey

Would you call this a journey
this place you go
Isn’t that what life is
a journey
towards what we do not know
It’s the only way to grow
that’s what I hear
This kind of journey
changes a person
It’s what they say
Doesn’t every journey we take
change us
Who will we be
when the journey is over
It’s the million dollar question
Who do we want to be
Who lives in our imagination
How do we walk towards the journey
we do not know
Trust
That we are loved
That the ones who love us
carry us in their hearts

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Did anyone tell them
how hard it would be
to come back
to pick up the pieces
the scraps of the life they left behind and move forward
Did anyone prepare them
to go from survival
to living in a world so easy
that everyone complains about something
Did anyone tell them
their relationships would no longer make sense
when they couldn’t make sense of life
a star dies in her tub and the world mourns
We all need time to grieve or heal or celebrate or honor
A life lived
how do you watch people that you care about die
explode
everyday
and move forward
Did anyone tell them
there would be so many
Did anyone tell them
it would be easier to die
than to see another friend die
Did anyone tell them
there would be no time
for mourning or grieving or healing or celebrating or to honor
A life lived
their own
there are too many
just move forward
Did anyone tell them
they would live with grief forever as it folds itself
into the new life that they build
Does anyone ever tell
any of us
and even if they did
Would we be able to listen
Would we be ready to listen.

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north coast

I feel my lungs inflate at the onrush of nature
expansive, swirling, massive, explosive
enormous, breathtaking, beautiful
power of the ocean as it relentlessly throws itself
again and again at the coast
Deep, grounded, soft, dark, quiet,
enormous, overwhelming, beauty
complete and utter stillness
of the forest as it quietly seeps into every cell
calming, protecting
growing over and over
Two equal and opposing forces of nature
balance

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Dawn
it is not sunrise
the gray light
just before
the silhouette of a tree
just visible
quiet early morning voices
the stirring of the light below the horizon
a robin begins her job of singing the sun up
it is the gray light of dawn
as my body begins to move and to stretch
I fade back to sleep
as a breeze blows across the sheets
I wish you were here beside me
pressing my sleeping body against yours
stirring
lovers
moving together to the dance of dawn
the stirring
just below the horizon
still
falling back to sleep
your arms folded
around me
your hands moving
over me
exploring my body with your touch
we sleep a minute
neither of us quite ready to let go
to wake
pressing, stretching, moving together
slowly
do not rush the dawn
do not hurry the sunrise
as that bright orb rises to the horizon
stay with me in this
in between time
the beauty of dawn
the magic of lovers

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It happened again today
while I was peeling peaches
daily reminders
not of her own life, nor of our life together
but a gentle reminder
of my own life.
As I step out today
I feel her here
but I haven’t seen her yet
she is watching, she is cheering
if I reach my hand out
she will take it
gently
I thought of her today as I peeled a peach
the woman on the radio
“don’t worry be happy”
a butterfly flitters all around me and rests on my arm
she is the butterfly
she is the rustle in the leaves as I lay in my hammock
she is the rock that holds open the door
she is the fox coming out to greet my father
on the hillside above the pond
she is a tender touch
a gentle way of being in the world
she gently reminds me
everyday

you got to stay
you got to stay
celebrate love
celebrate life
step out to the edge
and open your arms wide
say yes
why not?
love this life

imagine.

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